Pumpkins

Did you know?

In France, due to the low cost of pumpkins, smelly peasants used the flesh to bulk out dough in their bread - pumpkin bread. Nowadays, speciality breads are in vogue, and well-to-do customers pay through the nose for the same loaves, now called pain de courge. It is eaten in the morning with frogs legs, with coffee, or as a mid-afternoon snack, much like snails.

As you know, pumpkins are orange and so are Roald Dahl’s creation the Oompa-Loompas in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. They are a knee-high slave race, with astonishingly bad haircuts and are paid only in their favourite food, cacoa beans - which taste like shit - bitter shit. Only the male Oompa-Loompas are seen working in the factory; presumably the female Oompa-Loompas are being raped and experimented on by Willy Wonka in the Oompa-Loompa village seen briefly from the great glass elevator. Very few know that Willy Wonka invented the ever-growing pumpkin hat as a means of supressing Oompa-Loompa trade unionism. The hat gradually and painfully squashes the heads of troublesome Oompa-Loompas which leads to their heads bursting. The inside of the head is then scooped out and used to create the yolk in Cream Eggs.